Prosapio

There is a very strange phenomenon at work at our house. Something is keeping my sheets in the living room.

We recently went camping in our tiny travel trailer and I wanted to change the sheets. I know it sounds like a completely straight forward thing to do. But something is definitely interfering with the completion of this task. 

The first day the nicely laundered and folded sheets made it into the living room and were set down on the extra chair (which also hasn’t made it into another room — but it’s kind of convenient, so I don’t mind so much), we were positioned for success. I mean, we got sheets out of the laundry room in the garage! I was pretty pumped, frankly. Lots of sheets never leave the garage. In fact, we should really just sleep in there because we could have fresh sheets every other day. 

So, you can see why I thought I’d made it through the most difficult part of the journey. For some reason, though, the sheets then made it to the arm of the big armchair nobody ever sits on. Then someone came over and they wanted to sit on the armchair, so the sheets were moved to the little table in the corner.

I really didn’t understand it. I have carried countless groceries, shoes, baskets, even walked the dog right by the sheets. And yet there they are.

I have, of course, formulated two competing and completely rational theories:

Theory #1: There is a force field in the living room. It’s a very strange force field that only impacts sheets, but it’s highly effective. But it’s not one of those force fields that you bump up against, like a bird crashing into a window. It’s more like a psychic force field. It renders the sheets invisible or maybe just tosses some sort of mental glitter at you, distracting you with something else altogether, like the saltwater taffy on the kitchen counter.

Theory #2: There is a gravity well in the living room that only impacts sheets due to their cotton and rayon blend. The pull of the gravity is so strong that it pulls the sheets back to the living room before they can break away. Someday they may disappear in the same black hole where I believe at least a dozen of my chip clips are being held captive.

If I’m honest, it’s also possible that it’s all my fault. It’s possible when I added two towels to the folded pile — two colorful towels that I foolishly thought would be nice to have in the trailer — I impacted the entire trajectory of the sheets, thereby ruining everything. It seems terribly unlikely though. I mean, what are the odds that I’m responsible? 

I am hoping that science (or someone else in the house) will come to the rescue soon because I suspect these sheets (and the towels) just might end up back in the towering sheet pile in the garage. Frankly if that happens, it’ll take a Navy Seal team to get them out again.

(1) comment

John Turpin

Both theories are plausible.

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